So rides my soul upon the sea
That drinks the howling ships
Through in black jest it bows and nods
Under the moon with silver rods
I know it is roaring at the gods
Waiting for the last eclipse .   .   .

Come what may,
I won't age a day,
I'll wait for you always...

  I'm finally home. She peers through the pouring rain at the abandoned city. She was one of the first to leave when the citadels had fallen but that was years ago. Everyone had gone now it was utterly devoid of life. She looked up at the bluff where she had spent most of her childhood. Dreamer's Park is what they had named it. She saw a lone figure obscured in the rain or was it just a tree. She swore she saw something move up there. She lead Wildfire into an old house near the park. She told Rook to scout around but otherwise they were to meet back here soon. The house had been picked clean by scavengers over the years. She caught a glimpse of something in the doorway. A firefly!. It danced in a blue glitter she could hear it whisper and sing. She thought the trail had gone cold when they were at the river they called  the Serpent's Tears. A big waste of time is what she called it.

She followed the tittering firefly up the path. Soon it was joined by a few more. Eventually hundreds of them coalesced down the path. It was ironic they were leading her back here where it all began. She walked up to the statue and ran her hand along its base. Only Nicci's still stood. The rain and the fireflies  streamed down its face. It was almost like she was crying. Ayrlyn's statue had been shattered, pieces of it had been strewn around the park. What had happened? She hadn't been gone that long. The earthquakes had destroyed much but these statues should have been fine. She slowly walked around the park until coming to the bluff. An unfamiliar mound of stones was there. A cairn. Who had built this? What unfortunate soul had been laid to rest here? Something glinted upon the stones. It was the small plaque that used to be affixed to the statues base.

We stood against the world and won.

A small necklace of rubies and sapphires hung upon it. She looked up. The fireflies had joined into a twister that spiraled to the skies above. Their song had become a chorus of sadness and regret. Still it was a sight to behold. Slowly it dissipated into the rain one by one the fireflies started to wink out until a  blue glowing form remained. It stood upon the rocks.

Come closer she heard it call

Athera approached cautiously. She had heard of phantoms and other such things. She moved forward until she was close enough to make out the features of a young women much like her. The garb she wore was so exotic and beautiful. It didn't even seem of this world. A slow realization crept on her. Athera trembled and gulped she had spent days on end starting at those statues pretending to be her but how was it possible?

"Are you real?" Athera whispered. The spirit did not seem to acknowledge her any further.

Nicci smiles

I'm speaking to you from a place where time and space have no meaning.

I left this trail because I saw my death before it even happened.

I have seen what you might become.

I need your help.

Listen closely Starseeker ,she wouldn't heed my words , I hope you do

Athera's eyes widened.

She only seeks revenge now her feelings of losing me have consumed her.

She walks down the wrong path, a dark path.

I cannot feel her anymore she may be lost

You are my last best hope

You can save us all Starseeker.

Please make me sing again, let her hear me sing

Nicci turns and gazes at the ocean

But first You just need to wake up

Athera shook her head. "What do you mean"

Wake up .....................

Wake up ....................

She shook her head groggily.

"WAKE UP" Rook yowled. " You have been sitting there on the horse for like five hours taking the longest catnap I have ever seen"

She could still hear Nicci humming a beautiful melody. Athera wearily rubs her face and looks around. They were still in the mountains. She sighed. Just another dream she said to herself. Wildfire was drinking from a small mountain lake ringed with trees. She hopped down from her horse and knelt down to splash some water on her face. She peered in the perfectly clear lake. A haft of blue silver caught her eye. She reached down and pulled it from the sand. She was awed from what she uncovered. The cool water streamed off the most magnificent bow she had ever seen the likes of. The technology was otherworldly. Blue steel shined brilliantly in the sun. Oddly enough it seem to have no string.

Along its haft it was adorned with Sun runes. She found that she could read them perfectly.

We are coming home this day
Lost, but now we found our way

Heart of steel
Crown of blue
Hearken to the winds, they are calling you

Her father smiled and held out his hand. She reached out. He took her hand in his and they started walking. She started to ask where they were going but before she opened her mouth he spoke.

  The answers we seek aren't always in the great beyond. Sometimes the answers lie within us.

He gestures to the horizon. She squints against the bright light not understanding what he meant.
She could hear a faint noise it sounded like a running stream...............
.................
...........
.....

That's when Athera woke up from the dream. She had been dozing on Wildfire's back. A light rain had started to come down. Quickly she turned the horse around towards the mountains. With a start Wildfire broke into a gallop. Through the rushing wind and rain she could hear Rook shout "Where are we going!"

"Home. We are going home"

Now you start selling him square. Where was this like three months ago !  Le sigh...

After being inspired by your youtube video I decided to try pokemon GO again. The first thing I caught was this. He isn't the real pikachu but he will do for now.

Our paths they did cross, though I cannot say just why.

We met, we laughed, we held on fast, and then we said goodbye.

And who'll hear the echoes of stories never told ?

Let them ring out loud till they unfold.

That moment you realize it's going to be a long week.

 She starts to pour over the book. Suddenly the small boat lurches violently to the side. Large sprays and splashes cover the boat. Among the splashes she hears "Help!" and " I can't swim". Quickly she spots the small black tail and grabs it. Up comes one drenched Rook. He looks sheepishly at her as she lifts him back on board.

"I'm so sorry I thought I saw a firefly in the water and I tried to catch it and slipped" he says. She looks at him and then the book covered in water ink smeared and soggy pages.
"I'm sorry about um... your paper sandwich" Rook says as he avoids looking at her directly. Water still dripping from his whiskers.

  Athera rolls her eyes. While she had tried to explain what a book was to Rook countless times he never could grasp the concept but of course he immediately understood what a sandwich was.

"Did it ever occur to you that bugs don't swim?" she says as she gently sets the book aside. She gazes off in the distance trying to figure out where they were. Losing herself in thought.

She feels a cold wet nose on her hand. Rook looks up to her "Thank you for saving me. I'll try to be more careful" he says as he jumps into her lap and curls up. The smell of wet fur fills her nostrils.

"Athera?" he says in a small voice
"Yes?"
"Are we lost?"
"Very" She replies softly

The last door has been closed. I reach to stop it but something holds me back. I realize I won't find answers there. I keep floundering around not even sure what I am saying anymore or which way to go. You were right the path for the right answers is a complicated one. A long and difficult path. One I will have to go on alone. I'm sorry I drove you away. I'm sorry about all of it. I've never been so confused and frustrated in my life then I am now.

Thoughts constantly swirl through my head like a relentless storm. Is this a midlife crisis? Do I even know what love is anymore? Is this how its supposed to feel? Is there no middle ground or compromise? Why the silent treatment? Why can't we just talk it out? Maybe I'm just going crazy. I always thought as more time passed I would understand you and life more. It seems quite the opposite. I keep trying to piece together these thoughts.

Why do I bother write it in this blog? That is probably the simplest of answers. I have no one else to talk to. At the least I can read over it when I am feeling lost. I journey on weary and battered. Trying to make sense of it all. I want to make it back to ... well I'm not sure what anymore. I'm not even sure there are wrongs to be righted. I don't think I will ever understand love and why it makes me do the stupidest things.

Please excuse me while  I slip into a troubled sleep.

Just a legend cold words on a page

Lift up my eyes and I'm soaring away

On silver wings spread out to the sun

I'm leaving this place for the skies above

I understand. Just know you are not unwanted and I will not forget no matter what happens. I don't have anymore expectations. I don't expect you to read this and I don't expect to ever talk again. Just because I can't be in your life doesn't mean I didn't want to still be. I'll always be here if you ever change your mind. I won't stop posting not even when all hope is lost. I won't wait for the storm to pass. I want to learn how to live and deal with things as they are.

Another life goal achieved I finally played through and beat FF12. That makes every mainline Final Fantasy played to completion for me. The only characters I liked were the two pictured above. Funny that this is probably near the bottom of the list for me. I feel like the story was underdeveloped and I really didn't feel attached to any of the characters since they didn't seem to have much backstory. The combat was dull and so was the skill xp system. I barely had to put any effort into it. I just had a white mage and two melee attackers and that was enough to easily defeat the story bosses. It was a good attempt but a very shallow one. I'm glad I finished it in time. Octopath Traveller is coming on monday. Just another squenix rpg made in the old sprite based and turn based combat style.

She opened the Ayrlyn's journal. On the first page a single line was written in the middle.

Heroes are remembered but legends never die

She glances down at the bottom corner a line scrawled in different hand was written

Nor are they forgotten.................................

Her fingers trembling she turns the page and starts reading

I remember your smile. I remember our laughter. I remember how sometimes it seemed we would never meet eye to eye.  I remember how impossible it seemed to stand against the world. Most of all I remember how painful it was to say goodbye.

Here is my story of how we learned to dance in the rain

She reads on the answers they wanted seemed so close now.

And I find it kinda funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are best I've ever had

Now that I've had some time to reflect on things. With my eyes unclouded by anger, frustration, and grief. I know what my biggest mistake was . Expections. When we started talking again I went into it with expectations. Of how things should be and what I wanted from it. If I could turn back time it is what I would have changed. If I had no expectations it would have been different.

Sadly this realization has come too late but thats a change I am making with all aspects of my life.  I am a lot happier without expectations.

I feel like goodbye was the only way I would ever let go of my attachments and expectations. In the end I just wanted you to be happy. I was wrong about a lot of things. I am genuinely sorry how it turned out and how I acted. I didn't mean to hurt you.

What a crazy month it has been so far. My 980 ti gtx in my new computer decided to overheat and kick the bucket. Thankfully I received the replacement today. I am glad I have old Bessy(my old computer) to use for the last two weeks. Everything is working fine now hopefully. I had a great birthday at this great Mexican place downtown. My true love is Margaritas and tacos.

Angel got the tickets for the four of us for the FF14 Fanfest in November today even though they were sold out in like 20 minutes. I have never been to Las Vegas nor on a plane but like everything else in my life that to will change. It is always been a dream of mine to attend a fan fest and also go to Las Vegas! Its way out of my comfort zone but it is time a saw the world for myself. The future may be uncertain but for the first time in weeks the glimmer of hope returns to my aching heart.

May my radical dreams never die

May they soar in the skies long after I'm gone 

May they find someone that needs them more then I
May all our hearts be free
May they dream of love just like me

Out of the story, this time I will be free
Wake up for a moment from this dream of me.

In the end, it boils down to two simple choices. Either you do or you don't. You'd think with all the problems in this world, there'd be more answers. It's not fair... but that's the way things are. The choice is yours.