Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the right thing, or if I ever did.

It sounds a lot like what I used to say. What I wanted to do. What I wanted to be , but it didn't matter because I wasn't good enough. 

I've already made my choice so long ago. Now it's time you made yours. Walk with me or choose a new path without me. I will always be there in your heart whatever happens. You have to choose your fate and write your own story in the stars. As we all do someday.


"Now comes your part
To cloak yourself in the fiction
To breath life into the dead
To give a voice to the voiceless"

"I will walk in the shadows
The world will change around me
I will not be part of it
I will always be true"

While you sleep, dream of me

 I’ll be keeping our memories

 Living in my heart and soul

If I fall in battle, bury me where I die so my spirit may watch over the battlefield for eternity.

 The mind can be your greatest weapon or your greatest weakness

I wish someway. somehow 

That I  could save everyone one of us

But the truth is that

I'm only one person

Maybe if I keep believing 

My dreams will to come to life . . . . . .

Pour the salt into the open wound.

You've no fight left to fight, No life left to live.

As one story comes to an end. A new one begins.

I won't stop fighting.

For what I believe in.

 I will not yield

I reject your reality and substitute my own.

I took my love, I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around

I realized then I was never important.

“It cannot be seen, cannot be felt,
 Cannot be heard, cannot be smelt,

 It lies behind stars and under hills,

 And empty holes it fills,

 It comes first and follows after, 

Ends life, kills laughter.”

"Wo viel Licht ist, ist auch viel Schatten."

“Reason lost the battle, and all I could do was surrender and accept I was in love.”

The strongest and courageous of us all is the one with an open heart

Every book has a final chapter. It may be good, bad or bittersweet. Regardless someday it will be over. Just like all stories must have a beginning they too must also have an end.

"A future is not given to you, it is something you must take for yourself"

I don't only just love you because who you are but also because of who I am when I am with you.

Have we been fighting in vain?

I focus on the pain

 The only thing that's real

 The needle tears a hole 

The old familiar sting 

Try to kill it all away 

But I remember everything

“Hope is the lies we tell ourselves about the future.”

We mortals are but shadows and dust.

So you see why the world must be perfect?

No, they're my doubts because I'm not perfect. And neither are you

and aren't flawed beings more interesting? Look at all the people who helped me get here. The people who surprised you again and again.

Isn't that beyond perfection?

But I failed them, I've failed myself, I failed this world. Look at all the pain and suffering people go through!

But they get through it together. They work hard and push through adversity to create something wonderful in the end. Sometimes adversity is what helps make them beautiful.

Maybe in the odd case. But I've made them suffer so and they will keep on suffering until I end it. A new world is the only way

How many times have you reset the cycle?

I have lost count

And has it ever been close to perfect?

I suppose it hasn't

Maybe... Maybe we ride this one out and see where it goes. You can't change your mistakes but you can learn from them.

I suppose true enlightenment can't be achieved from changing whats external to you. It must come from within

I know you've been going through this alone. That's why you have been so angry. I know because I can feel it too.

But you are not alone now. I'm here

A small piece of you that was forgotten, but has come back to remind you in your darkest hour - you're not alone

Even by yourself you're not alone. I'm here. I'm part of you

So. . .

I will merge with you On one condition

We reincarnate together, and see what this world holds, not by making it perfect from the outside, but doing the best from within

but you speak so passionately of your friends. What of them?

I'm not sad to leave the life I've led. It was wonderful, and I couldn't of asked for more

The next will be even better, I'm sure of it. I want to see what happens to this world I love, and the people I love.

Don't you?

I do

Thank you

Dark have been my dreams of late

This world will never be what you expected.

I feel like I'm losing hope
In my body and my soul
and they sky, it looks so ominous
and as time comes to a halt
silence starts to overflow
my cries are inconspicuous

Remember Us

These memories ache with the weight of fate 

 Ever we fight

 Never we fly 

 Ever we fall

 Forever we fall 

 Now breathe deep of the darkness beneath the flood 

 Where all of the proud angels drink to their deeds of blood 

 Their lies, twisted and torn, into dreams they're spun

 Yet ever we still stand tall

 Invincible

'Cause I love you more then I could ever promise

Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone.

and I don't need to. You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be.

“In every change, in every falling leaf there is some pain, some beauty. And that's the way new leaves grow.”

I hum this old melody of life to myself.  Deep within my chest my heart rouses from its ancient slumber. It shakes wearily as the feelings and memories try to awaken it from its deep dreaming sleep. My heart rumbles quietly Some things it says are worth dying for . .  .

My hands outstretched reach towards the sky always, even though it forever remains just out of my grasp.

As I finally meet my end

 I won't be scared, I won't defend 

The things I've done

 As the world revolves the sun

 I hope the light that I become can

 Sleep for once

Whatever happens hold on to that feeling and never let go.

I wear this crown of thorns 

Upon my liars chair

Full of broken thoughts I cannot repair 

Beneath the stains of time

The feelings disappear

You are someone else

I am still right here

What have I become 

My sweetest friend

I guess I'm not that interesting. Maybe I've been looking at this the wrong way.

So I shut my mouth

By fire be purged. Let the flame consume my very existence.

 Mind : Did you do it?

 Heart : Yes

Mind : What did it cost?

        Heart : Everything . . . . .

The pain of  rejection over the years has taken its toll. Have I just been so numb all this time?
I am not sure if I can even lift my head up with hope anymore after so many years. It might just be best to quietly reflect my mistakes and try to make sense of it all. The fire in my eyes has gone out and maybe that's for the best. There just isn't anything to look forward to anymore. Everything is meaningless and empty.